The Walls We Batter
by Jetainia
Summary: He tried to break down the walls. Part 2 of The Walls.


_Monthly Challenges for All - Harmony of Souls Eternal_

 _Fill #11_

 _Representations: Clint Barton, Phil Coulson, Natasha Romanov, Triad_

 _Bonus Challenges: Schooner, Obscure_

 _Word count: 1,154_

* * *

His entire life he had had to deal with Barney telling him there would be no hope for him gaining a soulmate. There wasn't any physical evidence of the presence of a soulmate, so Clint was unable to properly dispute his brother's words. Every time he tried, his brother merely sneered and asked how he could be sure. To which Clint had no answer.

For how could he be sure, how could he be absolutely certain that what he thought were the areas in his mind that would belong to a soulmate were not simply an overactive imagination of someone who desperately wanted someone there purely for him?

But Madame Christmas at the circus reassured him. She had once had a soulmate but they had died in an accident several years ago, she knew what it was like. She told him that if he thought he could sometimes feel the presence of another within his mind, it was his soulmate. When he told her about the open space of one link and the closed space of another, she had drawn him into a hug.

 _"You might find yourself having to fight to get them to accept you," she said, "but I promise you it will be worth it."_

It was only those words that kept him going after he had spent hours and hours trying to gain access to that closed off space. Every time he thought he made a chink in the wall keeping him out, the wall was rebuilt stronger and he had to start all over again. The constant refusal wore him down. Every time the wall was reinforced also reinforced his brother's words and his own insecurity.

If even one of his soulmates wouldn't accept a carney, what hope did he have of anyone else accepting him? When Hawkeye was brought into SHIELD by one Agent Coulson, he thought that was alright. He would just be a specialist, he'd work in the shadows because clearly that was all he was good for. But Phil wasn't happy with that. He didn't let Clint simply go out on missions, come back and hide in the barracks assigned to him.

Instead, Phil taught him proper penmanship because he was tired of rewriting the illegible words on mission reports. Phil introduced him to the good type of coffee that was only produced by one machine in the whole of HQ. When Phil had happened upon Clint pacing his room one time to try and work off excess energy, he introduced Clint to the vents running through the building.

He only asked that Clint not use the vents for spreading gossip, but to feel free to give him a nudge towards someone that wasn't doing so well in their job so he could help or to someone that might not have the best interests of SHIELD at heart. Clint thought that might be when he counted Phil as a friend first and handler second.

Clint had never really had a friend before, barring Madame Christmas who had been more like a mother to him. The other kids in the street he had grown up in before Barney and he left for the circus never interacted with him. The Barton family was never welcomed in a street of those who were also unwelcome to higher society.

The thought had merely strengthened Barney's insistence that there was no way Clint had a soulmate, and especially not two as Clint believed. If even those who had been shunned before could easily shun their family, what hope did he have with people who he knew nothing about? Claiming Phil as his friend was amazing, Clint was determined that he would do everything he could to ensure he never lost the friendship of his handler.

He thought he screwed up when he ignored his orders and decided to bring the Black Widow in instead of killing her, but Phil had merely accepted it with a put-upon sigh and a mild complaint about the paperwork Clint had managed to generate. He had laughed when Clint said he would stay to keep Phil company while he filled out documents and make sure his coffee cup never went too long empty but didn't refuse Clint's offer.

It had been a long night but between the two of them they had made it enjoyable. Clint had a few more targets for when he went up in the vents and shot people with toy guns (mainly the people that caused Phil to rub his temples in frustration when he had to decipher their nonsensical writing, it made Clint insanely happy that he was no longer one of those people).

It was only when he felt someone slide into place in his mind that Clint realised he had forgotten all about the wall still standing strong. It had faded into unimportance as he helped Black Widow settle into SHIELD and took revenge on the people that gave Phil headaches. Black Widow merely rose an eyebrow at him when he stumbled to a halt after realising that the presence in the open space was the same as the woman next to him.

He grinned sheepishly and she rolled her eyes before pulling him onwards to the training room, all the while muttering about blind idiots that were said to have perfect vision. When they arrived at the training room (and Natasha had scared out the other occupants), she turned to him and asked, "Do you have the wall?"

Clint knew instantly what she was talking about and it made him guiltily happy that it wasn't just him their other soulmate was blocking out. "Yeah, I do," he replied. "I've been trying to break through but they keep building it back up."

"Then leave it alone and wait. I also tried to get in and was kept out. Now the wall is more like strong timber than impenetrable fortress, they have been letting their guard down towards me. We must wait for the opportune time to attack."

Now that Clint thought about it, his wall had also lost some of its reinforcements since he had completely forgotten about it and thus left it alone. "Maybe you're right," he mused and then removed all thoughts of the walled off soulmate as he launched himself towards Natasha. "Maybe that time is now!"

She growled at his sudden attack but defended herself instantly and they started sparring in earnest. They were well matched, having trained together quite a few times by now and learning each other's patterns. Once they decided to call it a draw, Phil stepped forward from the corner he had been standing patiently in as he waited for them to finish and handed them both a towel and mission folder.

"You leave in twenty-four hours. Briefing is in twelve, go and get some rest before then." Clint mock saluted and Natasha nodded, a specialist's work was never done.


End file.
